What is the week that was January 25th 2015

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This was the week where

The studios want to resurrect an old franchise that made money once

Rich people have more money than poor people

Parents try to minimise the cost of children’s parties

Feminists win, then loose

Men don’t enjoy going shopping for clothes

And people might not respect Wonder Woman as the lead female superhero

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It turns out that when you cancel pretty much any decent show you have on your network you soon don’t have anything to show, thus the Fox network is now openly up for, considering, maybe, bringing the X-files back to television. However in an actually surprising twist they are saying that they only want it if Chris Carter comes back and they cast now genuinely old people Gillian Anderson and David Duchovny instead of younger, edgier, “sexier” replacements. Now the problem with the X-files was that it didn’t so much end as fizzle out which means that if it was brought back for say a mini-series then it could function like Red Dwarf series X as a triumphant final note that serves to let everyone pretend that ‘Back to Earth’ didn’t happen, even the Dave network wants to pretend it didn’t happen.

Which is good news as soon nobody is going to be able to afford to go out anywhere and t.v will be your only choice. Well unless you consider cable bills and what note, so I guess you’re going to be stuck reading books? Anyway what I’m trying to get at is that by this time next year the top one percent will own fifty percent of the worlds wealth. Maybe that’s whay they have agreed to the new series in the first place, or maybe they just want to make sure that X-files stays in the public consciousness more than Twin Peaks which is also coming back.

In these desperate times you need to look after every one of the few pennies you have, so for instance if a five year old doesn’t show to a birthday party because he is spending time with his grandparents just before Christmas it is thus perfectly acceptable to sue. Which is what Julie Lawrence from Cornwall decided to do when five year old Alex Nash didn’t show. Now this was not done over the garden fence like a late nineties sitcom but instead but instead done via brown envelope in a child’s backpack. Of course as anyone who has had any contact with children would know, they never hand any notes over, ever so it’s a wonder his parents ever even found out about it. Maybe that was the plan.

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Okay, so everyone with a vagina has been complaining for some reason about a newspaper printing porn every day under the guise of news. For those who haven’t lived inside the U.K’s borders or driven a white van with egg down your vest ‘The Sun’ will typically print a topless, pretty young girl on page three with a small caption encapsulating her thoughts on some of the big news. So for instance a full page image of a topless girl with a carefully positioned beach ball to hide her reproductive parts and a small caption telling us that, “Kelly, 21 from Liverpool thinks petrol prices are too high” or something. Anyway this week the paper neglected to print this “engaging” feature and everyone claimed  victory and started drinking champagne out of high heels. Which doesn’t sound that practical, or hygienic. Anyway turns out that nobody thought to ask ‘The Sun’ this and they hadn’t cancelled the feature at all they were just building hype for putting the thing online behind a pay per view filter. Which sounds like the stupidest part of this whole endeavour, I mean who can’t find boobs on the internet.

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Urban Outfitters, the shop, not just a just what they call clothes shops in Nottingham, has hit upon the idea that men not fully enjoy going clothes shopping and has thus installed a selection of retro video game consoles for them to enjoy. Now I know that video games are big news these days and while everybody with a penis enjoys playing Call of Duty 28 advanced American death strike squad, only nerds are going to want to play Golden Axe and Sonic 1, bearing in mind that this is before they had a black gun totting clone Hedgehog and the question is what nerds are going to be outside buying non-gaming slogan plastered t-shirt?

So looking back at a week like this I need some hope, some optimism a figure we can look too to stand tall and pure. Someone like Wonder Woman. Who was seen this week participating in a gang bang in a French hospital. Now I should say that it was a painting of Wonder Woman who was seen in a mad sex scene with her team mates, Batman, Flash, Superman and Supergirl who it should be said is in most continuities underage and related to another member of the gang bang. Now I don’t get invited to a lot of sex parties but I would assume that is a fashion faux-pas which you think they would know, what with being French. The other thing worth noting is that this was decorating a wall in a doctors break room and thus not to be seen by the general public, the other thing worth noting that though this is being taken down it was eventually done so because of the political captions they had the Justice League, symbol of truth, justice and freedom, saying. Though this seems the most normal part of the scene, after all who doesn’t shout “Take that health reform!” mid coitus.

Oh and for those wondering, no I won’t show you the picture, this is a family friendly blog, apparently, you can however just follow the link and see it there.

 

 

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