I’ve talked about internet reviewers before, poncey hipsters who are not at all like me and my blog. After all they have cameras and spend time editing. Anyway ever since “That Guy with the Glasses” hit it big and decided to do annual movies as an excuse to get all the “wacky” characters together every other internet personality has decided they needed their own hour and a half comedy epic. This goes for Brad Jones, aka ‘The Cinema Snob’ a man who distinguishes himself from all the other comedy movie reviewers by focuses on, porn and exploitation flicks. So how do you turn a guy staring into a camera for twenty minutes, with cut aways to licensed film scenes, into an over two hour movie?
In truth, they don’t as in they don’t even bother to try, not directly anyway. While every other reviewer feels the need to take their character out from in front of their camera and then putting them in front of a slightly more impressive camera with a budget. In ‘The Cinema Snob Movie’ Brad instead plays Craig Golightly a wannabe film maker struggling to justify the stick on beard sections and a dodgy wig hidden under the hat. In truth I’m not sure that is his name or if its just pronounced strangely, so he will be the one addressed as Creg.
With the idea for a potential hit movie also hidden under the beanie with the character of Black Angus, Craig just needs the shooting permits to get the ball rolling. That means dealing with film snob Dan Phillips, who would rather spend another night dissecting ‘Being John Malkovich’. Not liking the sound of a kick ass, roller derby, ass kicker for a movie Dan turns them down forcing the two to turn to local business man Gene played by Noah Antwieler who despite having some good lines is a fairly stiff presence and whose scenes go on a bit as his only role is to have a worse haircut than Brad Jones’ wig, oh and force writer Craig Golightly to come up with a better idea on how to get the permits, for some reason. In fact seen as how Gene circumnavigates the need for shooting licences, the whole thing hinges on the idea that there is only one black person in Springfield, America. No not that one.
So via several obscure references and a sardine pizza Craig comes up with the idea of going undercover as a “cinema snob” Craig dons the costume from his internet reviews and joins up with the weekly film club to re-watch artsy movies and drink, a lot. That’s when the movie decides to become a graphic murder mystery as members are picked off one by one, usually in less than promising situations. These are probably the main reason for the movie being pushed into an 18 rating, well that and female nudity. I say this as though it has a rating but I suppose that’s the beauty of releasing your movie online.
Now the movie has little connection to the series and that means that even if you’ve never seen the show you’re in the same boat as the rest of us. At the same time if you’re not into the kind of movies he reviews then you’re still going to be pretty lost. After all the mid-point of the movie is a group of people watching ‘120 days of Sodom’ that uses a horrendous dub over the top that milks the scene a little too much.
As you can probably tell from this description the movie feels like it’s two parts welded together badly just before the middle. This means that the movie could have lost a bit of run time without loosing it’s punch, heck it could have improved it to be fair. Also the lampshade hanging will either push your buttons or get on your nerves. Personally I think the movie manages to stay the right side of ironic giving the scenes the impression that they’re doing it for the humour sake rather than making up the excuses later. The characters are nicely fleshed out and there are plenty of call outs for movie buffs to hunt for with friends. In fact the movie while bloated flows quite nicely and there is a decent scene toward the end with Craig and Dan discussing the worst disguise since Superman and how it managed to go on for so long. I’ve definitely seen worse movies, professionally made, and though it does feel a little too close to his other stuff in terms of plot, gore, cast, characters and so on I would hesitantly recommend giving it a go. While the dialogue isn’t too bad and the acting varies, it doesn’t really stray too far into the exploitation genre it holds so dear.
Of course the problem with releasing your movie online is that nobody is going to stumble across it on the television of at the cinema and your stuck taking my word for whether you should throw down the ten dollars, that’s ten pounds, including shipping.
For those still unconvinced I think the best option for those left wondering would be to go for the mini-series ‘Hooker with a Heart of Gold’, it’s longer and to be fair not quite as good, but at least it’s free.