This week in the week that was:
Michael Bay might be a perv;
DC is bad at crediting creators;
Even Anime is running out of new ideas;
British comedians form their own political party;
Politicians sometimes tell lies;
Hollywood starts to realize that you can do accurate superhero costumes;
A major studio tells us it was only joking when it makes a mistake;
And a sitting down, social casual game is now a recognised sport, no not that one;
This is the week that was………
Michael Bay is well known for making “adult” versions of beloved childhood favourites, for instance sticking a pair of testicles on a robot and having Megan Fox pose like a teenage boys pin-up. Now however he’s gone one step further. Not content to have Megan Fox jumping on a trampoline in the first movie, he’s decided to have her dress like a Victorias Secret model for Turtles 2.
You can almost see the writers room now.
Michael Bay: Okay guys, we’ve got to go one better than last time.
Writers: You mean faster, funnier, bigger?
MB: Yeah, let’s get her dressed as a schoolgirl
W: Okay, we can work with that. I mean, remember the old movie when the foot was recruiting teenagers, maybe they’re doing that and she has to go undercover. You know like hoodie, baseball cap, tracksuit. That sort of thing.
MB: No, no. I want miniskirts and high heels. A proper schoolgirl.
W: You know that’s not how actual schoolgirls dress?
MB: It isn’t?
Meanwhile talking about pervs, DC has never been the best at acknowledging it’s creators, in fact going as far as to sue them but now it has come up with an ingenious solution. Simply state that everything is a rip off of something else and thus nobody made anything. The idea is that to reward writers for coming up with interesting characters that they can use in their actual successful enterprises (video games, television shows and movies) each writer gets a cut of the money any time their characters are used. So of course when it was announced that Killer Frost would be appearing on the Flash T.V show Gerry Conway expected a nice little check to be heading his way. Nope. See he created the original Killer Frost, aka Crystal Frost. (Don’t blame him, it was the seventies).
Anyway the Killer Frost being used is the new Killer Frost aka Caitlin Snow so he gets nothing. But that’s not too bad, after all it just means that Sterling Gates and Derlis Santacruz will be getting a check for their character right? Nope, because their Killer Frost is based on an existing character. That’s right girls and boys, DC could be the only company who read Catch-22 and thought it was a good game plan.
Meanwhile the japanimation business is running out of ways to repackage happy go luck, overpowered heroes in orange jumpsuits. Or maybe they’re still upset at everyone laughing at their naming scheme. Thus they decided to go back to the one with the silly naming scheme that was at least consistent. So we will be getting a new Dragon Ball series imaginatively titled Dragon Ball Super. Taking place after the Buu Saga the series will no doubt involve learning about teamwork and beating bigger and more powerful enemies by turning Super Saiyan level x+1 each with bigger and sillier haircuts.
Meanwhile as the general election draws closer for these bright and shinning isles more and more are standing up to say that they can do better. To add extra insult to the ‘right’ however this one is a female, gay, immigrant or as people would address her Sandi Toksvig, otherwise known as the female Stephen Fry. Don’t go looking for them on the ballot paper this year however. This isn’t some comedic stance and instead the full party expects to be up and running for the 2020 election. Now this means that instead of a comedian making things worse than by putting ‘Mr Bean’ on stage during the debates they will be putting their wit and intellect toward actually doing something. So hopefully it will be less “Pub Landlord” and more Eddie Izzard.
For those who are running however now is the time to promise the moon and the sun and tell everyone what they want to hear. Of course you shouldn’t get caught out until after you’ve been elected and maybe you shouldn’t ever get caught out on something as silly as which football team you support. Thus David Cameron had a bit of a problem when he announced himself as a huge West Ham fan after previously being a huge Aston Villa fan. But don’t worry he had a decent explanation for all this. No not that he has switched team after the last guys weren’t too good at kicking the ball into a net, no not that he’s a posh toff more into rugby and only pretending to like football to try and influence the vote of the common man. No his explanation was that he was flying over West Ham yesterday in his helicopter and that’s why he got confused. Way to go David.
Meanwhile in lighter news Fox has learnt that thanks to the current MCU, that crack in the first film about blue and yellow spandex was perhaps a little ill-advised. Thus with the latest X-Men movie coming out they have decided to set things right by putting perhaps the most accurate costume ever on screen and what better character to adapt for a movie set in the eighties than the most eighties character they’ve got. Well other than Dazzler who I assume is being saved for the post credits sequence. That’ll take the wind out of ‘Age of Ultrons’ shot of Thanos.
Still at least someone realises that you can actually put a decent recreation of super heroes on screen, even if they are *gasp* fun and light hearted. Thus the internet did not have many nice things to say when DC released the first shot of their new Joker.
But don’t worry, they totally knew it was a bad design and they were of course only joking. They never intended that to be the design. Honest.
And finally Bridge, the popular past time of old people has become an officially recognised sport. So all those people worried over whether they’re starcraft session could be considered an actual sport, don’t worry. You’ve only got a hundred or so years till it become official.
Thanks for reading and don’t forget to show a little C.L.a.S.S