What is ‘Grabbers’?

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Grabbers is a low budget-ish horror comedy and that means it must just be another Shaun of the Dead where we follow some down on his luck, unhealthy shlub who finds his local town under attack from creatures beyond imagination and so must gather his friends and head down to the local boozer for a final heroic last stand. God I wish people would stop assuming that just because a horror movie has it’s tongue even ever so slightly in it’s cheek that it’s just another Shaun of the Dead. Shaun of the Dead isn’t the only self aware horror movie in existence you know.

Wait. What’s that? Oh that’s exactly what happens. Well it’s still rude of you to assume you know.

Alright well now that that’s out of the way let’s find what else is in……………

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We start with a streak of light roaring across the sky crashing down in the ocean just off the bough of some backwood trawler. Assuming this to be a distress flare, for some reason, the boat goes to investigate only to have it’s three man crew quickly and brutally killed by a p.o.v shot. From here it’s over to our lead star Officer Ciarain O’shea, but I can’t be bothered typing that each time so I shall just call him Jeff. Jeff is a washed up, alcholic policeman officer and come on guys I get that we wanted to move away from the coffee and doughnuts sterotype but is it just me that thinks this is getting a little repetitive now? Still it’s to be expected I guess, after all he did come here under a misapprehension over how to pronounce the island of Lesbos.

Still though can’t we have one horror movie with a competent policeman officer lead? Oh yeah ‘Slither’.

Anyway his boss is off on holiday for a few weeks and he doesn’t think Jeff can handle this action packed island all by himself. Fortunately there is Lisa Nolan a no-nonsense cop from the big town of Dublin who has volunteered to come over and help out on her holidays because, I don’t know, she’s really boring? There is the usual build up to the big reveal as whales wash up on the beach slashed to shreds, bodies are dangled in front of doorways acting as bait for more delicious fleshy humans and people go missing in easily explainable circumstances.

As it should be noted they go missing after being left alone on the beach for what I can only assume to be the course of several hours going of the light available. This wouldn’t be so bad except he only went for a spade and there was someone sat waiting for him. It’s a good job they didn’t have the engine running.

I suspect this guy actually just wandered off home and sat the rest of the movie out. Probably safer that way anyhow.

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Oh yes, speaking of the movie the first creature soon turns up and goes after the Irish drunk imaginatively titled Paddy. Somehow Paddy manages to beat it senseless and decides to take it to Doctor Alonso to poke and prod.

Here they figure out two things, number one is that like all good alien invaders  they didn’t realise that their one weakness is running rampart on Earth, in this case alcohol.

The second is that now they have the female and the male wants her back.

Thus we set up the plot for the rest of the movie where they have to survive the night for plot related reasons. Picture it like ‘Slither‘ except where half the cast is pissed before the end.

Speaking of Slither is it as good as the yanks attempt at alien vs cops?

Well yes and no. See poetically the movie feels just like a friend you’ve taken out for a few drinks. It takes a while to get going, hits a hilarious and fast paced high where it can quote any movie you like and suggests fun things to do with supersoaker’s and then suddenly drops off as its head hits the table and you have to call a cab to get it home. The build up is long and awkward and not that funny and likewise the slapped on section at the end staggers to the cab before throwing up on the back seat leaving you with the bill. But that bit during the middle is probably enough to make you overlook those other two bits and have it back out on the crawl by next week.

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Translated into English it can’t sustain itself like ‘Slither’ but when it hits its stride I would give it a big two thumbs up. Whereas ‘Slither’ probably had more like a steady one and a half throughout so I guess it’s up to you.

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