Well straight off the bat it’s possibly the worst title in the MCU and the most pointless review I’ll ever write. This is, without hype, the MCU movie. When you look up MCU movies, from now on, in the dictionary this is what you’ll see. You’re either seeing it or you’re not. This is….
Needless to say they’ll be spoilers ahead and while I’ll try to keep them fairly light I’m not making any promises and I understand that some may look at the poster in the lobby of your local multilplex as too much. So to them I say read the opening paragraph and make up your own mind whether to go or not.
To those still here I say this is certainly the end game for the MCU in so many ways. This isn’t the end of phase sixty four, or whatever we’re in now. This is the end of the first ten years and could be said to be the end of the superhero movies altogether. Oh we’ll always have Batman and Superman at the box office. Spidy will always be ready to swing by from now on but after seeing this not only is there a sense that there is no point in seeing the rest of the Marvel offerings but the question of why bother showing up for the next Justice League movie either. But I’m getting ahead of myself.
We start twenty or some odd days after Infinity war and no Tony doesn’t die in the opening five seconds of the film. Instead he hitches a lift home with Captain Marvel and then retires and lives happily ever after. Well at least for the next five years while we figure out what to do. It’s Antman’s return and his Quantum Realm that may provide the answer for this but not before he gets a fairly touching little scene. In fact everyone, left alive, get’s a heartwarming moment or two. Except for Captain Marvel whose just there to kick names and take ass. From there it’s enough of of a homage to the last ten years of Marvel movies that I’m prepared to say that if someone smarter and more observant than I were to sit down and watch this movie they could pick out a scene, a shot, a line or reference to every movie since Iron Man way back in 2008. And that’s not to mention the high number of comic book scenes we steal.
Without saying who lives or dies there is a sense that most of the main cast are done at the end of this movie. Only Bucky and Falcon seem to have a story to tell coming out of this and that’s going to only be available on Disney+ so that’s out. While some might also argue for Thor I don’t really care where he seems to be going, which is nowhere. Or should that be Knowhere.
So everyone shows up for the final fight, except of course for the Defenders which felt a bit off seen as we could have easily slipped them in and their show is already done and dusted so we don’t need to worry about the future. And don’t bore me with talk of contracts because they have clearly got a very big bag of money for this movie that they could have easily paid whoever off for a quick cheer from the audience. And there were cheers from the audience. Well apart from one misjudged part where a lone person gave either a very sarcastic clap or thought they were building up to a thunderous applause before realising they would be doing so alone. This came during a game of keep away. Someone has the ball to begin with but can’t keep hold, which is fair enough considering all that is going on around him. Then it’s Spiderman’s turn. (I told you there would be spoilers, though he’s got a movie coming out in a few weeks so I’m sure this isn’t a huge surprise for you.) Despite only having like one super power. The ability to stick to things. Spiderman can not keep hold of this ball. Like at all. Then Rescue shows up, like all the fans asked for, and picks up Peter rather than the ball. She passes this off to Valkyrie on her winged horse. All good so far. But they’re shot out of the sky by a trade mark sky beam, not really but don’t worry they do show back up before the end of the ten years, and it’s up to Captain Marvel to get the ball across the touch line. At this point we get a pointless group shot of all the women apparently segregated off from the men who are either off doing all the work or paying no attention to what is going on around them depending on who you ask. I assume. I haven’t asked anyone as I don’t like other people. From here it’s up to Marvel to stand along side Wonder Woman and cross ‘No Man’s Land’.
In a scene with far more cringe than when Wonder Woman did it two years ago. In fact Captain Marvel herself struggles from this. As I said she missing out on the whole story arch bit that we seem to keen to make sure everyone has and then comes in with no real explanation of why she wasn’t here before. Oh there’s the line of being busy with other planets but nothing major as to why she either couldn’t make the last movie or is able to make this one. Plus she undermines the whole plot with the ability to take Thanos down by herself without even the problem of a thing like ego, such as Thor’s, to hold her back. I don’t want to to rant on Captain Marvel too much as truth be told she’s not in it that much but the bits she is in could be better served by swapping her for the Nova Corps or at least their last surviving members.
In the end the Marvel movie already has the next ten movies in the pipeline at various points. Some are sequels we couldn’t discuss until the spoiler ban is over while others are new bloods ready to rise through the ranks. But I fear there’s going to be a sense it’s all down hill from this point with little to live up to a brilliant ten year run.
Well that’s all I have to say on that.
Until then I’m off to keep flooding twitter with fake endgame spoilers.